Bryce Harper bat flip claims 4th life this season.

     The league said it plans to talk about post home run bat flipping at the annual 2020 Winter meetings after A Bryce Harper bat flip claimed its 4th life this season. Leading to his 7th homerun of the year last Tuesday against the Atlanta Braves; Harper mashed a 2-2 fastball into the upper decks. As the crowd erupted into cheers Harper took 3 steps out of the batters box and did his signature “bat flip”. The bat-flip found its way into the 18th row, still spinning viciously and striking longtime Philly fan, and mother of 7, Kathy Shend in the head causing a brain hemorraghe. She was pronounced dead at the hospital later that night.
     Shend marks the 4th victim of a Harper celebration this season and 7th in the last 4 years. Earlier this year a broken bat homerun by Harper led to a half bat flip that sliced the Aorta of a fan in line at the concession stand.This was following his 1st Homerun of the season which led Bryce to flip his bat out of the stadium, onto I-95, smashing the windshield of a Ford Tahoe and causing a 4 car accident that killed 2.

Bryce Harper losing his fucking mind

     “While we do sympathize for the families of the fallen, I think we just have to let Bryce be Bryce” Phillies manager Gabe Kaplain said. “ He comes with an undeniable passion that would be a shame to silence in any way”
     Baseball Commissioner Rob Manfred promises to address these concerns after the season. “While these kind of tragedies are a huge concern to us, its pretty much only Bryce doing it” Manfred said. “We’ve spoken to Mr Harper about it and he tells us he’ll tone it down but then the next day there’s another bat being flung through the stadium support pillars after a homerun.” And Manfred is right, since the inception of baseball Bryce Harper has accounted for 100% of bat-related in stadium deaths.
Philly fans do not seem to mind the killings however as the twitter page, “Did Bryce murder this game” has amassed 600k followers.
     Mr Harper refused comment for the story but we caught a glimpse of him working out at the Philly Training complex throwing sledge hammers as far as he could throw them. One sledge hammer went almost 80 feet nearly missing an intern as a smile came across Harper’s face.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s